


It's Not Okay

by rylee_kai



Series: Voltron AUgust [11]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, College AU, Doesn't actually happen in the chapter, Keith is there to be soft, M/M, Mentions of the Rape/Sexual Assault, Rape, Sexual Assault, Soft keith, This Is Sad, Traumatized Lance, When yall saw college au you weren't expecting this, protective keith
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2020-08-19 07:10:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20205766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rylee_kai/pseuds/rylee_kai
Summary: Lance comes home way too late and Keith is concerned, especially the next day when he realizes Lance won't come out of his room. Lance is having a really hard time and is trying everything to not processes what happened, because his friend did this to him, and he can't process it. Thankfully he has some very supportive friends looking out for him.WARNING: there is flashbacks/memories & mentions of rape/non-con and while the act of assault is not mentioned can still be triggering. If you know anyone or you yourself has experienced be sure to look for resources and for people who you can trust.Day 11 AUgust - College AU





	It's Not Okay

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: there is flashbacks/memories & mentions of rape/non-con and while the act of assault is not mentioned can still be triggering. If you know anyone or you yourself has experienced be sure to look for resources and for people who you can trust. 
> 
> Trying out a month prompt challenge! AUgust. 
> 
> Day 1 - Post Canon  
Day 2 - Crossover  
Day 3 - GenderSwap  
Day 4 - Angst  
Day 5 - Fluff  
Day 6 - Youtubers/Vloggers  
Day 7 - Reality Swap  
Day 8 - Pre-Canon  
Day 9 - Superhero  
Day 10 - Hanahaki  
Day 11 - College  
Day 12 - Celebrity  
Day 13 - Siblings  
Day 14 - Apocalypse  
Day 15 - Time Travel  
Day 16 - Soul Mates  
Day 17 - Band  
Day 18 - Hidden Identities  
Day 19 - Enemies  
Day 20 - Child Potion  
Day 21 - Fire  
Day 22 - Assassins  
Day 23 - Major Character Death  
Day 24 - Rape/Non Con  
Day 25 - Thieves  
Day 26 - Forster Family  
Day 27 - Blind/Deaf  
Day 28 - Imaginary Friends  
Day 29 - Aged Up  
Day 30 - Group Chat  
Day 31 - if y'all have any requests I will take 
> 
> Not all of them will have relationships, but it will probably be more Lance centric, because he's my  
favorite, sorry not sorry. Ratings will vary, I might even make it a little spicy, who knows. All the works  
will range 2000-3000 words to keep me in check.

**Day 11 AUgust - College**

Lance isn’t sure when he walked through the door, but he was glad no one else was awake, he hurried to his room and locked the door before falling onto his bed. How did this happen? 

Keith had been waiting up. He always waits up when one of their roommates stays out late. Usually either Lance partying or Pidge at the library. But he had to say he wasn’t impressed with Lance coming home at 4 am from thirsty thursday. He knew the boy liked to party, but this was the latest he’s ever stayed out without texting him. 

He considered confronting the boy about it, but he already heard the door lock and the mattress springs squeak. He was probably tired, and if he was going to be awake for his seven am dance class then rest was a good thing. 

Lance didn’t fall asleep. He stayed awake, staring at the ceiling. Trying to remember where the night went. He wasn’t even going to go out that night. He didn’t really want to, not with the recital so close. But his friends insisted, and he wasn’t up for having a serious case of FOMO at the pajama party of the year. 

* * *

**JD: ** you’re coming tonight right?

**Lance: ** Ugh, not sure I have my early morning class tomorrow, maybe something this weekend?

**JD: ** But it’s the pajama party :( You have to come, we can wear our matching robes

**Lance: ** That does sound fun…

**JD: ** Okay, be there, I’ll even grab your favorite drinks. 

* * *

Keith was eternally grateful for not having any classes on Fridays, plus he had switched shifts with someone so he actually had nothing to do today. He was even more blessed that Hunk had made cinnamon rolls last night, but strangely enough there was only two missing, one for Pidge, one for Hunk. Even if Lance didn’t eat before his morning class, he should have been back by now and at least three should be missing. 

**Keith: ** Hey are you home? Hunk made cinnamon rolls, do you want one?

No response, that was weird. Lance almost always responded right away, unless he was in class. Keith knew Lance’s schedule inside and out by now, mostly from having to drop off whatever the boy forgot at the apartment. 

**Keith: ** I don’t know what time you got home last night, but I left some ibuprofen and water outside your door. 

Keith couldn't help but here the quiet ding from Keith’s texts in Lance’s room. Maybe he was sick? Maybe he needed something? 

Keith knocked and tried for the handle. 

Lance was still in daze. He ignored his alarms, his texts, his calls. It was easier to not think about anything. Or think about random things. Like the terrible off white color of the apartment. Or the sound of cars honking outside. 

He nearly fell out of his bed when someone jiggled his door handle. 

* * *

_ “Get out and don’t tell anyone what happened. Can’t have them thinking I am gay or some shit.”  _

* * *

Lance’s breaths start to catch, half breaths, it was suffocating. He couldn’t breathe. He rested his hand over his chest, tried to count numbers, but nothing was working. 

* * *

_ “Lancey Lance, mmhmm, finally mine.” _

* * *

He was going to die, why couldn’t be breathe? 

“Lance? Are you okay?”   
No, no he was not okay. He isn’t sure when the tears came. He isn’t sure if they were because of the pain in his chest, or if they were reminiscent of last night. Either way everything. Everything was hurting. 

“Lance, it’s Keith, can you unlock the door?” 

His phone started to buzz again. 

* * *

**JD: ** Hey are you here? 

**JD: ** I want to see you, we have to get a pic with our matching robes

**JD: ** Meet in my room?

**Lance: ** Oh sorry, I was dancing wit h (or on 😂) some of our friends. I’ll be there in a minute

* * *

“Lance answer the phone, it’s just me.” 

Keith was pacing the kitchen. He was sure he heard Lance crying, but he refused to say anything or answer the phone or open the door. He tried to run through what could have been happening.

  * Terrible hangover? 
  * Slight injury from the party?
  * Woke up late? 

But none of those explained why he wasn’t giving Keith anything. So Keith texted his least favorite friend in the group. 

**Keith: ** Was Lance at your party last night?

**JD: ** yeah

**Keith: ** Did anything happen? He won’t come out of his room or talk to anyone. 

**JD: ** Probably a terrible hangover, he was really getting at it last night

Keith shook his head, JD was always so vague and annoying. Worse than that he was always making fun of Lance for being bi or for embracing his more feminine sides. It was disgusting really. He didn’t know why Lance kept him around, but apparently something about him being one of his closest friends while growing up. Even Pidge and Hunk didn’t really like him. 

**JD: ** I’ll come by later to check on him

**Keith: ** You don’t have to, I am here all day today

**JD: ** The last thing he needs is your pining gay ass helping him, don’t touch him Kogane.

Keith did a double take at the text. What the fuck? JD had always been somewhat of an asshole towards Keith, but he had never gone that far before. 

**Keith: ** You are not welcome in our apartment JD

**JD: ** Well should have told that to Lance before he gave me spare keys to his room. Stay out of this. 

“Hey Lance, I am not sure if you are checking your phone, but JD said he’s going to come by later. He’s worried about you too. Um...I guess just let me know if you need anything,” Keith said through the door, and Lance felt his entire body tense. 

* * *

_ “Damn McClain, you really know how to dance,” some random guy said as Lance ground down on to him to prove his point.  _

_ “Okay Lance you win, you win, you can dance better than I can,” one of his girl friends said, lifting her arms in defeat.  _

_ “That’s what I though-” Lance was cut off by a tight grip on his arm. “Hey what the hell that hurts!”  _

_ “Relax, it’s just me,” JD said, dragging Lance through the crowd.  _

_ “Well can you let go then you are hurting me,” Lance was trying to pry his arm from his death grip, it was going to leave bruises at this rate and his coach was going to kill him.  _

_ “Yeah well ten minutes ago you said you’d meet me in my room, and instead I find you dancing on my guy friends, stop trying to get dick okay?” JD growled, startling Lance and making him plant his feet stalling their movement.  _

_ “What the hell did you just say to me? I was having fun-” Lance started before JD turned towards him with rage and hauled Lance over his shoulder. No one paid them any mind, JD and Lance had always been playful best friends, even though Lance was punching his back to get him to let go and JD had ignored everyone who said hi to him.  _

* * *

No. Lance couldn’t see JD. Not right now. He scrambled up and grabbed the door pulling the unsuspecting Keith standing outside the door into the room. 

“Oh god, Lance you reek,” Keith yelped as he pulled into a hug. 

But Lance didn’t say anything. No playful banter back or angry defense. That was when Keith realized he was shaking. 

Keith helped Lance back over to the bed, grabbing a trash can, and rummaging through the desk drawers until he found Lance’s own stash of advil. 

“Here,” Keith said, handing him the pills and water. He noticed that Lance was wearing the same thing he went out in. A pair of navy blue pajama shorts and his satin robe. He also noticed bruises on Lance’s hips and hickeys dancing from his neck down to his navel. 

“Lance, you have a recital soon, aren’t you supposed to be shirtless for the modern pieces?” Keith said, his fingers hovering just above the bruises on Lance’s body. But Lance just turned his head to the side. Clearly they weren’t talking about it. Got it. 

“Okay, well, if you don’t want to talk why did you bring me in here?” Keith asked watching carefully for any twitch or movement in Lance. But he remained stone still. 

“Have you slept at all?” no response again. 

“Would you like to shower? Maybe change, then go to sleep?” no response, but Lance moved his head down to look at the clothes he was wearing. 

“I bet a shower sounds nice, you can even put on a face mask after?” 

Lance let Keith help him to the bathroom, but no touch went without a small flinch. Keith was going to know. He was going to think Lance was disgusting, a mess, weak. Afterall, that’s how Lance saw himself. 

Lance climbed into the shower with all his clothes on, he needed every part of him rinsed, cleansed. 

“Okay, I’ll be in the living room-” Keith started, and Lance isn’t sure what came over him, but he his voice cracked from the first words said all morning. 

“No!” Keith froze in the doorway of the bathroom. 

“Lance you are going to shower, you deserve your privacy,” Keith said, but Lance really didn’t care. He had gone skinny dipping with him before and Keith had helped Lance after a couple drunken nights before. 

“Please,” Lance croaked. Keith was someone he trusted. Right? Well technically Lance trusted a lot of people. But Keith, Keith would never hurt him. Keith would protect him. Even though technically someone else Lance thought would never hurt him did. But above all else. Lance didn’t want to be alone. 

“Are you sure?” Keith asked, and there was a strain in his own voice. Felt guilty asking the boy he knew had a crush on him to do this, but right now. Right now Lance needed something for his comfort. 

“Yes, please, and lock the door,” Lance said as he started the shower, he could see the faint silhouette of Keith sitting on the toilet. 

“Lance you know you can talk to me right?” Keith said, voice small. 

“Not this,” Lance responded so lightly he was sure it wouldn’t be heard over the water. 

“About anything Lance. You could murder for someone and I wouldn’t hold it against you,” Keith said, and Lance felt warm, but the moment ended before it could be savored. 

“Lance!” JD shouted. Keith hadn’t even heard the front door open, he had been too invested in the conversation with Lance. The only times Lance ever went into the shower with is clothes on is when he said he needed to ‘cleanse.’ Plus he couldn’t get those bruises out of his head. 

“Are you in the shower,” a powerful single punch landed on the door, and the question was barely phrased as a question. 

“Where’s the Kogane rat? Did he leave? Good, I need to talk to you.” 

Keith watched as the silhouette in the shower was standing like a statue, his hands frozen above his head.

“I am sorry about kicking you out this morning, I didn’t even call you a ride home. I was just so angry. You know how much I hate it when I see you dance with other guys,” another fist hit the door, and Keith watched as Lance slid to the ground of the bathtub. “I also wanted to talk to you about the other stuff that happened.” 

Keith heard Lance’s breath catch and before he knew what he was doing Keith jumped into the shower, happy to see Lance still wearing his boxers and robe. Lance jumped back a bit, but Keith sat across from him and placed a finger over his own lips. 

Keith hadn’t wanted to put the pieces together, but it was becoming more and more clear by the minute what had put these bruises all over lance and what made him tremble. Keith open his arms, and Lance fell into them, sobs muted by the shower. 

“Look I know I was rough with you, and you um, well you asked me to stop, but I was just wondering if we could talk. I don’t want to ruin our friendship, plus I am starting to think that I might even have- Ugh I don’t know. I am not dudes or whatever, I just think I like you. Lance?” 

The breath on Keith’s shoulder stopped, but Keith just kept running his hand down Lance’s back, praying he wouldn’t respond. Lance needed time to process what was happening, not think about his fucking prick that Keith was going to kill. 

“Lance, please talk to me. You’ve ignored all my texts and calls,” JD said, his voice giving away his desperation. 

“Please just leave,” Lance said, making both boys in the shower tense, but Keith smiled and pressed a kiss to his temple, which didn’t help the shaking stop, and he immediately regretted it, but Lance gave a small smile back. 

“Lance!” a fist connected with the door again. “You don’t want me to leave. Last night was so good and fun, we can do it all the time, please. Just open the door, let me show you.” 

Keith was quivering with rage. Who the fuck did this guy think he was? This monster? If he wasn’t holding onto Lance he was sure he would have opened the door and made the fucker bleed. And as if Lance could read his thoughts he squeezed tighter, begging him not to move. 

“I am leaving McClain, but you better call me later.” 

They stayed in the shower for almost an hour after JD left. Lance reluctantly asking Keith to leave the tub so he could clean himself, and Keith reluctantly letting go of the still shaking boy. 

“Please don’t do anything, don’t go anywhere either,” Lance asked as Keith moved to sit back on the toilet, a nod confirming he wasn’t going anywhere. Lance finished twenty minutes later, his mind still trying to process everything. 

* * *

_ “Come on, if you can whore it up on the dance floor, surely you can whore it up for me.”  _

_ “Scream, I dare you, then everyone can see what a little cock slut you are.”  _

_ “I want to be the only one to touch you.”  _

_ “Ugh I am so in love with you.”  _

_ “What the fuck did you do to me McClain?”  _

_ “Get out of my sight.”  _

* * *

Lance knew what JD did, he knew full well what one of his closest friends did to him. And of course part of him felt bad. JD was just confused and hurting. His brain was seriously trying to make excuses for him. Lance couldn’t imagine not being friends with him. He also couldn’t imagine him doing what he did to him. His eyes wandered over all the bruises littering his entire body. He knew logically he should report JD, but at the same time it was his friend. How could he do that to his friend? Plus what if he turned it on him? Beloved athlete, fraternity council, and great student raping someone?

Lance stilled. It was the first time he associated the word rape with that happened. But that is what happened isn’t it? No part of was okay. Lance had too many drinks, and yet he still cried no, begged him to stop. JD clearly aware of what he did still knew what he did. 

He stepped out of the shower, and wrapped himself in a towel before his eyes settled on Keith. 

“Keith,” the boy jolted up and pulled Lance into a hug. “Keith, he-he, he raped me.” 

“Shh, shh, we will handle it, but let’s get you in some new clothes, I’ll get you one of Hunk’s cinnamon rolls, and we will watch some movies, okay?”

Keith grabbed Lance some soft pj’s before going to the kitchen and running his hand through his hair. He wasn't sure he knew what he was doing. He pulled out his phone and looked up resources. 

  * Be patient
  * Believe 
  * Validate and Listen
  * Don’t blame
  * Don’t impede on their experience
  * Know other resources: counseling centers, group supports, etc. 
  * Know how to report, but don’t force them to report

He could do that. He walked back to Lance’s bedroom when he realized he was throwing up in the toilet. He fished out anti-acids and plenty of water. After the spell passed he helped Lance to the bedroom, pulling the trash can close just in case. Lance gestured for him to come sit on the bed. 

It wasn’t Keith’s place to go after JD, no his place was to comfort and help Lance. Which is exactly what he was going to do. 

He noticed Lance pick up his phone. He watched as he blocked JD on all platforms and then moved to text someone. 

**Lance: ** Hey Ryan and James can you do me a favor? 

**Ryan: ** Anything what’s up?

**Lance: ** I need my house keys back from JD, he might be aggressive about it and I don’t want to see him right now. 

**James: ** Got you, let us know if you need anything else. We’ll drop the keys by later, it’s the blue one right? 

**Lance: ** Yep, you guys are the best, thanks!

“It’s going to be okay,” Lance whispered out. 

“It’s not okay, but you are right, it’s going to be okay,” Keith responded, as Lance pulled him closer. 

**Author's Note:**

> Some of you are probably like why the hell would your college AU be about this. Well surprise I am a college student and the number of people I know who have experienced some form of sexual assault is alarming. I also work with several programs with the counseling center at my school and worked with an interpersonal violence initiative. Please seek out resources, sitting on trauma is unhealthy and unsafe. You are loved and worth it!
> 
> Also I titled the work 'It's Not Okay' because one thing to keep in mind on mental health/traumatic journey is that it's okay to be not okay. Constantly trying to be 'okay' or 'fine' isn't good. No one is always okay. We all have hard times and ups and downs and while the downs suck it's okay to be there.


End file.
